What The Dead Does With Us
by xnericx
Summary: •Ending your life doesn't stop the pain. It just passes it on to someone else• -Eric centric -Slightly Neric *the cover is my drawing so please don't do anything with it -xx* SUICIDAL DEATH. NO MAJOR CHARACTER
1. chapter 1

Eric POV

"Grace I'm home!!" I yelled into my house. No response. "Grace?". I was scared. Scared of what could have happened. Nobody knew she stays here. Nobody. Not even the team. Not even Nell. I walked trough the house, searching for any sign of her. When I came by the bathroom I didn't know that when I opened the door, I was going to find my worst nightmare. The second I opened the door, my brain was still processing it. I wished he hadn't processed here. "GRACE!!" I screamed. "No no no, this can't be true. Eric wake up out of this nightmare" I said to myself. It wasn't a nightmare. It was life that just turned into one. She was lying there, on the ground. Skin cold and pale. Her eyes closed. Her chest wasn't rishing up and down, like it was supossed to do. She was dead. Grace Beale was dead. Tears started to fall down on my cheeks. I cried like life was over. But it was. It was the end of hers. I didn't know what to do. I think that was the point I called Katherin. I knew she would be broke, just like me. After all it was still Grace. Our little sister.

Nell POV

"Morning Beale" I said walking into a quiet OPS. Very quiet. Too quiet. No one was there. No Beale. "Beale?" I asked hearing my voice as a echo go trough the room. Strange. As soon as I finished the morning routine I walked down the stairs to Hetty her office. "Have you seen Eric ,Hetty?" I asked and she took a sip of her tea. "Mister Beale is not coming to work today. He just called off". Another sip of her tea. "Oh okay, then I'm just heading back to OPS" I said and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Eric POV

One moment it was only me, Katherin and a dead Grace. The other my house was full of people. There were people taking away her body, there were people that kept asking us questions. Where we were when it happened. If we caught something up the previous days. LAPD searched my whole house and kept people away. I heard Ilse talking to a LAPD Officer and the minute she saw me, she ran up to me and hugged me. "I'm sorry" she said as I began to cry again. Stop crying, you're a coward if you cry. "You know I read some quote on Instagram yesterday. 'Crying is the way our hearts speak, when your lips can't explain the pain you feel'. I think it's on his place right now" Ilse said and I smiled trough my tears. "But Eric you have to promise me that you're not gonna blame yourself for this. Don't say you aren't gonna do that 'cause I know you. When all of this is over you're gonna blame yourself. So promise me you are not gonna do that". "I promise Ilse" I putting a hand on my heart. "Even when this happens you still have that stupid humor of yours" she said bumping me at my shoulder. I grinned and knew that if she and Katherin would be here it was gonna be fine.

After almost 4 hours everybody left. When Ilse was settled down on the couch watching Netflix, I walked to my room trying to get some sleep. (On Ilse and Kat' request). And before I knew it I was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Ilse POV

I was watching some stupid film when someone knocked on the door. At first I ignored it, too lazy to stand up. But when they knocked for the fourth time I stood up and opened the door. "Heeeelllooooo" some guy that looked like Shaggy said. "We're looking for Eric" another guy said. "He is sleeping" I said turning to them. "Well, wake him" one said.

"And who are you?".

"I'm Callen, that's Sam, Kensi, Deeks". "You're from his work, yep got it. By the way I'm Ilse".

"I already called Hetty to say I'm off today" Eric said as he walked from the stairs.

Eric POV

I shot a 'Do not tell them' look at Ilse before I walked off the last stairs and stood next to her. "Guys I'm off today" I said. "We need you" Sam said but I didn't care. Not today. "I'm really sorry but can you please leave. I need rest". "Are you asking us to leave?" Kensi asked. "Yes I am asking that" I said now with a voice without any emotions. My voice was cold as stone. "Your voice" Ilse whispered and I took a deep breath, trying to get it back to normal. "Can you please leave?" Ilse asked kindly. "You know what we can also ask Nell. She answers way more happier than you, Eric" Callen said and walked away. Everybody except Deeks left. Deeks shot a glare to me that he didn't know anything why Callen was so cold to me. "It's okay. Go or you will miss your ride back" I said and he smiled as he ran back to his car. I closed the door and Ilse looked at me. "Why don't you tell them? They will understand it" she said. "Because they don't know anything about her or my childhood. If you can call it a childhood" I explained and got back to my bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Eric POV

The next day was just the same as others. Except for the part that Grace was gone and that Callen was still mad at me for not showing up when they needed me. I stayed at Ilse' house but that was kinda awkward. More because she was married and had kids. They're nice but still you're staying at someone's house. And I couldn't ask Nell 'cause she didn't know snything. So I was really glad when I heard that I could move back to my own house. As soon as we closed the case I raced to Ilse, got my things and installed everything on his old place. Minutes passed. Minutes turned to hours and before I knew it it was already 2 AM. And then it finally hit me. Grace was gone. And she could never coming back. My eyes were already making tears, one second later they let them go. Crying I walked to a door, unlocked it and pulled a bottle Vodka out of it.

I was not even drunk when it was empty. So I got another one and drunk it again empty. I was drinking my pain away. After 2 bottles I went to my bed. But like most people would have thought that I was already drunk after one shot, I was still not drunk after 2 bottles. Not being drunk I slept not really nice, but at least I slept.


	5. Chapter 5

Eric POV

The next days nothing really changed. The Vodka after work became a routine. Today was the day. Her funeral. In America it was now barely 3 AM. In Germany it was 9 AM, so I was pretty much awake. Her funeral would start at 11 AM so I made the decision to change in my tux. Katherin tied my tie and tried to light up my mood. "You are not alone" she said and finished my tie. "You're neither" I said and she smiled lightly. I looked out of the window and saw only rain. "You know, I love the rain. Reminds me that even the sky can cry" Katherin said as she held the umbrella above us. I smiled and held out my right arm. "Fraulein" I said and she grabbed my arm. "Herr".

Nell POV

I tried everything. I called, tracked his phone and send a text. Nothing worked.

"Guys, do any of you know where Eric is?" I asked desperate in my com.

"Nope, no idea" Deeks stated.

"I can't reach him" I said.

"We'll go check if he's home" Callen said.

"He's not picking up his home phone" I said.

"Still checking" Sam said over the gunfire.

"One on your right, Sam" I said, watching their feed.

"Got him" Sam said as I watched the guy fell down.

"Nell?" Sam said.

"Yeah?".

"Call him again" he said and I did what he said. This time Eric picked up.

"Hey, I'm kinda busy right now. Can I call you back?" he said with a shaking voice. I never heard that voice before. Never.

"Sure, but one question: Why aren't you at work?" I asked.

"I'm off for today" he answered and I heard people talking in the background, but I couldn't hear them clear. "Who are those people in the background?" I asked. "People" he said before he hung up. He has never shut me down. Until now. He just shut me down. _You see, he doesn't care that much about you. Not like you do_. He has probably a good reason. _He better does._


	6. Chapter 6

Eric POV

I wasn't paying much attention to everything. Before I could focus and dry my tears, everything was over. I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy. My hair was a mess from so many times running my hand trough it. _You're a fool._ I'm not. _Yes you are._ I am not. _You've cried, you are the biggest fool on earth._ I'm not... I am. I am a fool. _The biggest._ Tears were already forming in my eyes. _Turn off your humanity. Turn off your emotions. You can turn it off. It's like a switch. You can turn it off if you want, and turn it back on._ And there it was. Again, the switch. Turn it off. One second I was a man with a heart, and the other I was a man, cold as stone, walls around my heart, a heart of steel. I stepped out the bathroom and excused me to the people who were still there. The second I stepped out Deeks called me. _Turn it back on_. Click. It was back on.

"Hey buddy! Where the hell are you?!" the first words were with his usual happy spirit, only that disappeared when he ended his sentence.

"Hey Deeks! How ya doing?" I said trying to avoid the question and at the same time trying to sound happy. What I wasn't at all.

"I'm fine, just looking for one of my friends who is not at work, again" he said.

"I told Hetty that I'm a few days off" I said trying to hold my temper.

"Yeah, but we need you now here".

"So what?! Should I blew off my free day and come to work?!". And I lost my temper.

"Maybe you should" he said clear anger in his voice.

'Who's calling?' Katherin signed.

'Deeks' I signed back.

"He's busy, bye" Katherin said into the phone as she took it from me. She hang up without waiting for an answer.

"You're such a bitch sometimes" I said with a grin.

"Let me correct you: all the time" she grinned and I laughed.

"We will later explain it to Nell" she said and I blushed.

"You're cute when you blush".

"I'm not blushing".

"You're a horrible lair sometimes". I laughed at her ending argue.

"Sometimes" I said.

"Mostly not" she said and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

Eric POV

We were just sitting in OPS when it happened. I turned around and my eyes widened. Grace stood there. Alive and breathing. I almost fell of my chair and grabbed the desk to held me upright. When I looked back she was gone. "Eric? Are you alright?" Nell asked worried. "I'm fine, thanks" I answered without looking away. I looked at Nell, faked a smile and looked back. She stood there, again. I grabbed the desk as hard as I could and stared. I closed my eyes and opened them and she was gone. Again. **She was never alive.** She was, I swear. **You're overreacting**. No I am not. "ERIC?!" Nell her voice brought me back to reality. She was standing in front of me with her hands on my shoulders. "Are you really okay?" she asked, now also sounding worried. "Yes I am" I said plastering a smile on my face. Grace stood behind her and walked away. "Sorry, I have to go" I said fast and ran after Grace. I ran after and she walked to the roof.

When I reached the roof she was gone. I missed here. Again. **Stop Eric. You're paranoid.** _Shut up please_. Yes please, shut up. **But you know it's true, you're paranoid.** I'm not fucking paranoid. **You're seeing dead people. Grace is dead. You can't see her anymore alive**. "Mister Beale, what are you doing here?" Hetty asked. "Nothing I was doing nothing. I just thought I saw someone here and it can't help to check it out, right?" I said. "Go home, Mister Beale. No arguing" she said and I made me ready to go.


	8. Chapter 8

Eric POV

It felt like my mind could blow up any minute. She stood there. I wasn't crazy. I closed my eyes and openened them again. She was gone. I stood up still with the bottle in my hand. "GRACE!!" I screamed in my empty living room. I knew for sure she stood there. But when I closed my eyes and opened them again, she was gone. That's how it always goes. Every time I saw her. Every time she was back. **But she is dead, Eric. She can't come back**. But I'm also not crazy. _Yes you are_. No I am not. _Yes you are, you asshole._ Someone ringed the doorbell and I opened the door. "I saw her. She was back" I said almost immediately when my mind registered that it was Katherin.

"Eric, you're freaking out" she said with a very concerned look on her face.

"I'm not freaking out. And I'm not crazy" I said angry and trew the bottle against the wall.

"Eric stop it!!" she yelled.

"But I'm not crazy!!"

"No, you're not crazy. You're only freaking out!".

"I AM NOT FREAKING OUT!!" I screamed at her.

"STOP IT ERIC!!" she screamed back slightly terrified. When I saw expression I realized what I was doing.

"I'm sorry, it's just I don't know what's wrong with me" I said trying to be normal again.

"It's okay. You also had it when Dom died" she said.

"Does that mean I can see dead people?" I asked, now scared.

"No, yes, maybe".

"What is it?".

"Maybe, because you didn't see dad. So I think you see dead people who you had a good relationship with".

"So I'm a freak. I am a freak. Oh god I am a freak".

"No Eric, you're not a freak". _Yes you are. You are a freak. You are a fre-_. STOP IT!!

"I just go, okay?" Katherin her voice interupped my thoughts. Before I could answer the doorbell ringed. Katherin walked to the door and opened it.

"Is Mister Beale home?" a man asked.

"Yes he is" Katherin said and backed up so they could see me. Another man walked to me and put my hands behind my back.

"What's happening?!" Katherin asked.

"What are you doing with me?!" I yelled when he cuffed me.

"You're going with us"

"Let him go!!" Katherin yelled and grabbed my arms.

"Hey Eric, I was just wonde-" Nell said as she walked to me.

"NELL!! HELP ME!!" I screamed at her hoping for her help.

"Where is she going?!" she asked with a raised voice.

"Mister Beale is going to recover in a psychiatric institution for the next 2 months" the man said.

"What the hell?!" Nell yelled.

"Why psychiatric institution?!" Katherin yelled.

"Mister Beale is sick" the man said.

"I AM NOT SICK!!" I screamed and tried to get me out of his grip. He tightened his grip around my wrists and pushed me into a van.

"ERIC!!" Nell and Katherin screamed in unison. I felt pain in the back of my head and everything went black.


	9. Thanks

Hey!! Thank you for reading this book! Please review what you think about it! Sorry for the cliffhanger on the end, I couldn't do it without. I promise that there's gonna be a part 2 (I'm already working on it). So again thank you so much for reading and reviewing and favoriting!!


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